I'm Sick of Fighting

Why is it so hard to just feel good?  I don't want to feel like shit all the time. I fight like hell to not feel like shit, but when I feel good, a piece of me is trying to make me feel like shit again. What the hell??? I have had this fight going on inside my head all evening. I keep telling myself "Everything is going to be ok". I'm sure I've said it 1,000 times tonight, buy the moment I stop, bad shit washes over me and I've got to fight through it over and over again. I'm so tired of fighting. Part of me wants to give up and let this shit consume me because I'm so sick of fighting. But every time I try to stop fighting, something inside me starts saying "Everything is going to be ok". I'm so sick of life lessons. I need a damn break from them.  However, I think I'm going through this new round of shit so that I can see that I'm stronger. If only I would stop fighting it!!!