High Expectations - Too High

Sorry for the lack of paragraph breaks. The power is out so I'm posting this via my phone and for some reason blogger won't acknowledge line breaks. Anywho... I bought an antique trunk last weekend and The Boy was very interested in how much I paid for it. I explained that I negotiated a price and that it is worth more than I paid for it.  He wanted to sell it immediately.  I of course do not want to sell it.   Later in that evening after hours of pondering how he could have more money if I would just sell the trunk he declared he is selling it as soon as I die. I love you too son.  If you don't already know, I'm a huge Auction Hunters fan, and like any good mom would, I've gotten The Boy hooked on it.   This got me thinking....  Getting The Boy involved in auctions would be a fun thing to do.  With a little guidance and  seed money from mom, he can buy things and resell them for a little profit.   It would be a fun way to learn about old things, teach him discipline, teach him how to negotiate, how to manage money and give him a creative outlet.   Now, I'm not talking storage unit auctions because this momma doesn't have energy or space for all that. And I can only imagine the first time he opens a box of toys...  I'm thinking more along the lines of estate auctions. They seem pretty straight forward, have a lot less risk and you can limit the amount of crap you haul home (theoretically anyway). But here is my problem. The same problem I have with any new thing I want to try. I might make a mistake. To me, a mistake is a failure.  And if I make a mistake with The Boy, than he won't enjoy this.  I know this is all irrational. I know that you learn from your mistakes and you'll never learn anything if you never try. But, that doesn't stop the racing thoughts of ALL the mistakes I could make.  What if I pay to much for something.  Even if I do pay too much, it's not like I threw all the money out the window. I did get something and I can get some of my money back.  It is only money.  What if I lose the bid?  Rationally, I know I'm the smarter one by not paying to much, but what if I guessed wrong and could have paid more and still come out ahead?   I also expect myself to become an expert in everything the next two weeks. Cuz that's completely reasonable to expect.  I also like to start things and then stop them once I see any sign that I'm doing well. What a freaking contradiction I play with myself...  I expect myself to be perfect and then spaz out when I see any evidence that I'm doing good.   I haven't quite figured out what that is all about other than the fact I enjoy torturing myself...